there is a time, you can find it in a niche, in a tiny space between 15 and 16, right in the middle of 30, where you first feel love. i know, there are some people who feel love their whole lives, most people i'd say. but it is in that tiny, seemingly insignificant space of time where most of us actually experience this love first hand. everything about it. from it's overwhelming beauty and possibilities, to the desperate aching and absolute internal pain. it isn't always between 15 and 16. that all depends on the person i suppose. it could come sooner, or later. but i can't look in the eyes of any person on this planet without seeing the scars of love. neither can you. love defines us all. but it is how you let it define you that makes you the person you are from day to day. from one minute to the next. sometimes it is okay to let love guide you, but i have a lot of trouble with blind faith. i guess that is a personal problem.

love is a fucking mystery. a novel with no end. like i said, love defines us, but there is no way to define love. it is broad. it comes in every colour, shape, size, pattern.. it comes from all around us. the sky, the water, the dirt. it comes out of us, and it sucks us in. without warning a lot of the time. love can be scary. it can be the absolute most frightening experience you ever live through. and there are a few that don't live through it. and just the thought of that, scares me to death. there are so many ways to express love, but it almost seems as though almost nothing could ever ever ever perfectly describe that beautifully sickening feeling of it all.

i would like to begin by describing how i feel it with a kiss. for now, even though i don't know you, i will give you a 3 second, perfectly pressured, kiss on your cheek. that is just to tell you that i love you. then i will make you a mix CD of the perfectly picked, slow and fast, wordy and powerful, most beautiful songs i have ever heard at this particular point in my life, so that you can hear it. hopefully in your soul. yea, i still make mix CDs. i think there is almost no better way to tell someone you love them. or that you need them desperately. you can use the words of the artists who sing the songs. sometimes it's hard to arrange the words the way you want them, and why should you struggle with that when someone has already strung the words together with sparkling beads and fancy knots? if you are not satisfied with my kiss and my mix, i may throw a painting or a poem your way.

you know, i never realized until this exact moment, that i never fully appreciated have the possession of an artistic mind. if i could not express my love through art and music, i think i would be lost.. absolutely lost. i may have to give this some more thought and continue when i have the opinions of others on this topic.


how do you express your love?